Let's talk about depression on Motivational Monday.

Monday, March 27, 2017

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Welcome to another edition of Motivation Monday!  Why do I even care whether or not you succeed, are happy, or are sad?  If you see all of these posts from so many writers, bloggers, or posters then I would submit it is a valid question.  Life will seemingly kick us while we are down…right?  Wrong!  You are so wrong, it isn’t even funny. 


                I suffer from depression.  You read that right.  I have, what is classified as Major Depression Disorder.  I have had it for quite some time.  And I wear it proudly, I dare my little mental ailment to try and beat me.  I fucking dare it!  It doesn’t have what it takes to bring me to my knees and say “Uncle”.  There have been times when my little friend would lay a solid hit to the old chin and bring me to a knee, but never beat me.  This is precisely why when I hear of someone committing suicide it bothers me deep in my bones.  I hate hearing it, but it happens way too often.


  Throughout the years my condition has it showed its ugly head and I would do things like pridefully stick to my decisions knowing full well that they were wrong, snap at people who didn’t deserve it, and the list goes on.  I would use humor to keep people at arm’s length, never daring to let them in.  Throughout my childhood, teenage, young adult, adulthood years this ran unchecked.  With very few exceptions, I was convinced no one would understand, and I didn’t trust anyone to understand.  As my Naval career progressed certain people would trickle in and guide me in the right direction, often painfully.   To those who had to suffer through my process, I most certainly apologize.  I know it wasn’t easy to deal with me.  You see, that very guidance allowed me to became an effective friend and leader.  All of that help I received forced me to humble myself.  Not to hear people, but to listen and engage.  To understand that it is perfectly fine not to have the answers.  What I learned to do, is to find the answer even if it meant the solution is something that just plain sucked. I care about your problems, because I am there with you.  I have one thing over most people, I am surrounded by Brothers and Sisters (and not just my beloved Chiefs) who by the grace of God, will never allow me to fail. Even fail myself.


It is these lessons that I impart on you, you who reads this.  You are not alone.  You will never be alone.  The harsh reality is, life could care less if you are fine or sick. Life does not care if you fall on hard times or a fountain of prosperity.  Life does not have feelings, because it is not a person. Life is an ideology.  It does not carry the capacity to care.   For the sake of argument, we will say that life is a thing.  Life seems to kick us when we are down, because at that moment we stop fighting and start cowering.  This is why you are wrong to think life kicks us while we are down.  At this point all we are doing is letting bombs blow up unchecked.  It happens to the best of us.  Cause and effect folks.  While it is easy to write, and sometimes seem impossible to do, you need to cause growth to influence positive change.  I can tell you from daily experience it is not easy.  Some days are just harder than others, and that is fine with me.  Like me, you will get knocked down to one knee, but I challenge you to look your problems straight into its uncaring eyes and dare it to beat you.  I have stated it before in other blog posts, I will never stop helping as much as I can.  I am not perfect, I don’t have all of the answers, but I will never stop trying.  Thanks for stopping by!

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