If you have been keeping up with my blogs, then you are probably aware of how deeply I regret hearing about suicide. Dealing with depression myself, I am very aware of just how tempting it is to leave all of my troubles behind and punch out of this life and journey into the next. Very tempting indeed. Nonetheless, it is very important to understand some truths about suicide (In my opinion). One of them is that if someone truly wants to kill themselves then there isn’t a single solitary thing that you can do about it. Sorry to tell you, but it is going to happen. As incredibly heart breaking as it is, it’s the horrible truth. The other truth is that if someone shows signs of the desire to end their own life, you should do everything in your power to try and understand why they hurt. This is a powerful way you can help.
Dealing with one’s inner demons is so incredibly taxing. I know I joke, and go out of my way to make folks feel good about themselves and laugh. I do not want them to experience an ounce of the sadness, I feel every day. While I know, I can never remedy anyone’s problems, I am hoping I can at least ease the suffering a bit. Perhaps brighten their day just long enough for them to realize that the answers are there. They are always there. You just have to open your heart and mind to see them. I am lucky. I have been blessed with the right people in my life at the right time. I have been given the intelligence to see that killing myself would not bring a solution, but only exasperate more problems, and push burdens on other people.
Like it or not there are people in this world who truly do not care for human life. That is just the way it is folks. Don’t waste your time worrying about it. It won’t save lives. Or, help save someone from themselves. If someone does want to end their own life, truly want to do it, with few exceptions, you will never know about it until they are dead. If you have any chance of saving them you must really care about them. You cannot half ass care. If you do not have an inherent emotional attachment for someone’s welfare, for the love of all that is holy, get someone who does. Don’t feel bad. We are not always going to have empathy. That being said, we do know right from wrong. Should someone indicate that they are experiencing some problems, don’t be afraid to talk to them and see what is going on. We might not always catch it, or maybe you are unsure. If you don’t know someone well enough to make that determination, then find someone who does and tell them what your concerns are. Anything is better than nothing!
There is no sense in rushing in to save the day like they do on those TV shows. A psychologist, who is trained, will use a number of sessions to help a troubled person. What the hell makes you think that you can solve anyone’s problems by making a big show of emotion, and making grand gestures on how they need help? The very best thing anyone can do is simply listen to what they have to say. Encourage them to talk, and let them know that they are not alone. Urge them to sit down with a counselor and talk their concerns over with someone. Don’t be afraid to let them know you don’t have the answers, but maybe you both can get them. Above all else, no matter what you may glean from this writing do not keep anything to yourself. You can promise the world, but don’t you dare leave that person and not help them by seeking other help for them. Let them be mad at you. Let them curse your name and hate you for the rest of their lives. The thing is, they will still be alive to curse your name and hold that grudge.
Sometimes the biggest issue I have is just looking in the mirror and being ok with that other fella. Life is a beautiful and a wonderful thing to behold. Looking at a stunning sky, holding my lady, watching my daughter grow up to become a great woman, and just breathing. I have problems too. Sometimes they seem massive, but if there is anything I have learned in life, is that life will go on. And, it is far too short to hold a grudge, or get hung up on anything. The struggle is real folks. Make no mistake. I just pray that you stay alive long enough to realize that problems in of themselves are weak.